First Love .

Its been 6 months , since he vanished , without a trace . The last i heard from him was deepavali night , even though what he sent me wasn't very eye catching , the fact i came to mind , made me smile , its funny how im chasing him like a dog . and I don't think he even remembers my name anymore .

I wish he'd listen to me , i wish , he'd pick up that phone and call . All i ask is for a chance , I don't even know what i did wrong to be ignored like this . I don't want to scare him away , but he makes me miss him so much , it hurts , a part of me inside dies every single day . To know my first love , has left for a better life i guess .

If only he'd give me a chance to prove myself , i guess that's too much to ask for , after all im nobody :) the things you've said to me , play in the back of my mind , it hurts , this point even "twitter" is a living hell , cause i'd see stuff that eat me up inside ,  it stings , but i'll take it , cause if that's how im going to get your attention , i don't mind . I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all .

I remember , everything like it was just yesterday , the things you said , the way you say my name , the way you called me beautiful , like no one else , you were something special . It was suppose to be us against the world . Losing my friends wasn't an option , seeing me lay in bed all day sobbing wasn't a good sight either . I dont get it , why am i so upset , so broken up about a guy i've never even met , and you weren't even mine to begin with . ? Even after everything , i still love you the way you are , i'll love you till im incapable of loving anyone I know somewhere down this road , im going to lose every inch of myself , the instability , the heartache . Will drain my emotions dry . One day , i will lose heart . Thats the day i'll look back , knowing im done . done deed and its time to move on .,

all i want is for you to come back , im waiting here with open arms . i wish i could tell you this . All i can do now is wish .

Now that Christmas is coming up , you know how everyone gets a wish for Christmas , as cliche as this may sound , i would like to hear your voice , just once  , i wanna tell you how much i love you , after that , even if you wanna get mad at me , i'll take it :)



i hope someday in the distant future , we'll meet , and exchange smiles no hate , knowing we had something , something special , i'd look at you , knowing you're my first , love and no one can change that .

If dreams were true , then where are you ?