The heart always wants what it cant have

I miss this , I miss you

I may be one of your friends , but you mean the world to me .

Till death do us part , hmm .

Rock Star

The wannabe who got to be ;

Rock Star tells the story of Chris Cole and a rock band called Steel Dragon. Cole is a photocopier technician by day, and the lead singer of a Steel Dragon tribute band called "Blood Pollution" by night.

Internal struggles between the Steel Dragon band members culminate with the firing of the lead singer, Bobby Beers (Jason Flemyng) and the starting of recruitment sessions to find a new vocalist. Chris experiences his own internal strife with his bandmates, particularly guitarist Rob Malcolm (Timothy Olyphant) and is fired from Blood Pollution for his inability to make changes in his musical style, nor create his own.

One day, Chris receives an unexpected call from Steel Dragon's founder and rhythm guitarist, Kurt Cuddy (Dominic West), and is offered an audition for the band (thanks to two of Blood Pollution's groupies who had a tape of one of their concerts). He ecstatically agrees and after an outstanding performance of "We All Die Young", he joins the band as their new singer, adopting the stage name "Izzy."

Following a successful debut concert with Steel Dragon, Izzy has to come to grips with the pressures of his new-found fame and success. The band embarks on a lengthy tour and Izzy experiences the excesses of the lifestyle, with the group's band manager Mats (Timothy Spall) serving as a sympathetic mentor to Izzy.

His new lifestyle impacts his life both for better and worse, particularly with his relationship with his supportive girlfriend, Emily (Jennifer Aniston), when she decides not to continue with him throughout the remainder of the tour as a rock star girlfriend, though Emily and Izzy agree to get back together when the tour reaches Seattle. But when Emily meets Izzy again, he is too under the influence to remember that they were going to see each other, heartbroken with his inconsiderate behavior and the fact that he is sleeping with so many groupies, Emily leaves him.

After the end of the tour, Izzy reports to the next series of Steel Dragon recording sessions with song concepts for the band's next album. But the rest of the band rejects Izzy's ideas immediately, on the grounds that reflect Izzy's old friend Rob's very reasons for Izzy being kicked out of his old band for being unable to change just so to meet the expectations of the fans; and Izzy realizes he was only recruited for his vocal abilities, making him feel angry and used. After a heartfelt conversation with Mats about how he feared he had no control over the direction life has taken him, Izzy begins to reconsider his rock star lifestyle.

On the next tour, in a scene directly paralleling one near the beginning of the film with their roles reversed, Izzy hears a fan (portrayed by Myles Kennedy) singing along with him toward the end of a live concert. Impressed, Izzy pulls the fan, who introduces himself as "Mike", onstage and hands him the microphone to finish the concert. Backstage, Izzy realizes that what he wanted for so long wasn't what he thought, and he goes to the back room and says goodbye to Mats, departing from the band while doing so.

Izzy (now Chris Cole again) makes his way to Seattle (while Steel Dragon failing to evolve has their fame fizzle out) and starts a new coffee-house rock band with Rob (an allusion to the end of 1980s hair metal and the beginnings of the 1990s grunge rock movement). He finds Emily working in the coffee shop she and her roommate purchased a few months earlier, but is initially too ashamed to meet her. While walking one evening, Emily sees a flier for his band posted on the wall and takes it down. In the final scene, Chris is singing with his band in a bar and Emily walks in. Chris leaves the stage and meets her. They reconcile, ending the film with a kiss and the final note of Chris' first original song "Colorful" (which is actually a song byThe Verve Pipe).

Critic ; 

I say , best movie so far , It might be old , but it is definitely a movie to watch .

P/S Not a movie to watch if your a bieber fan . ;)

Rock Star - Snips

She is me

She’s the type of girl who wouldn’t know what to do if a guy tried to kiss her. She wouldn’t know what to say if a guy asked her out. She’d spend so much time daydreaming but when the real thing happens, she’ll be starstruck because she would never believe she’s beautiful enough to be loved.

Just The Way You Are

Every girl would love to hear these word , dont you think ?

29 June 2010

Many of you are aware that I’m not a fan of love songs, romantic films, romantic novels, etc.  I turn down anything that has to do with romance. Have any of you ever wondered why? Wonder no more, something inspired me to do this, I’m not revealing the source, but I am going to tell you why …

Due to my limitation to use the internet, I’ve decided to type it out on Microsoft word before actually publishing this. I really hope this answers you questions

Let me start off by doing a little confession here. I lied, I do read romantic novels, listen to love song and watch romantic films. Few of my current favorites are “When in Rome” “Valentine’s Day” and “Leap Year” and not to mention the movie that made me ball my eyes out, “Seven Pounds”. That movie got the best out of me.

Honestly, I do believe in LOVE, there I said it .I believe one day, he’ll come. He might not appeal to others but He’d be the perfect for me. He’d be someone I can totally be myself with. He’d be someone I hate and love at the same time. Someone who I can stare at all day and not get bored off. I may not know who is now but I do know he’s out there.

Many of you also know , I’m not a fan of “kids” , I lied , I may not like them at first , but when I get to know them , I start to treat them as if their my own . Okay, I would not say I lied completely, I still do hate the annoying ones :P.

I do want to get married someday, I want to see the expression on “his” face as I walk down that aisle, I do want to cry and laugh at the same time (you only do that on your wedding day), hell yeah, I do want to have kids, I do want to go through all the screaming and shouting, after all that, I can promise him it’ll be alright, and it will be. I want to grow old with someone.

Back to topic, so why do I hide this things? I know life is never like the movies. I’m afraid to keep my hopes up. I’m a little insecure at times. I’m afraid to watching these movies cause, what if’, I don’t get my fairytale ending?  After all, movies and life, two different things. Yesterday when I was watching When in Rome, something strike'd me, no not lightning, a phrase from the movie. Something Beth (Kristen) said got me. 

Every time I ever put myself out there I’ve gotten hurt, every time. It’s like I meet a guy and I think it’s great and everyone else would just be thinking how much greater its gonna get, while I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop – Beth (when in Rome)

That’s what was going through my mind. That’s what I think about when I get in a relationship. When it’s all going to end? , bummer isn’t it

And you still expect me to believe that “love” is going to magically appear someday for me? Fairytales only work on pretty and rich ones. So where does this leave me? I honestly don’t know, and I don’t plan on soul searching either. My dad always says this, “good things come for people who wait”. I believe so.

Patients Is a Virtue

P/S, Here I Go, Scream My Lungs Out To Try To Get To You, For You’re My Only One.

Wont You Dream A Little

Here's to those who think that they are wothless . Think Again .

Don't ever let somebody tell you. . You can't do something. Not even me. All right?

You got a dream . You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period

Let me hear those words again :)

Last Thursday, I was talking to a close friend while were having our usual-Thursday jog. Usually we’ll talk about the weirdest things, she’s a sexual innuendo, believe me when I say that. It’s really fun to be around her, she’ll make you laugh till you can laugh no more. On that day she didn’t seem happy, so it was my turn to cheer her up with my “silly-sick” jokes. As soon I managed to get her laughing, I asked her what’s wrong. & she spilled, everything, she was having problems with her partner and she didn’t know what to do. When she needs advise she always turns to me, she said, “You somehow know what to say “, I take that as a compliment, after all what friends are for. Her “partner” is a good friend of mine too. Let’s put it this way, when both of them have problems, they turn to me, I’m like their fairy God-mother. I gave her some advice, that she should be selfish and think about herself, she should think about what he’s going through as well etc... At that moment she smiled at me as if her burdens were lifted. That put a smile on my face. Knowing that I am actually able to understand a guys point of view and as well as a girls point of view. I guess that’s one of my gifts :) She ended by saying “Whoever your man is, he sure is lucky to have you “. All I could do was smile. Those word, “your man” stings.

Next day, after school as I was browsing through a collection of William Shakespeare poetry. My MSN buzzed. I couldn’t figure out who would buzz such a time? To my surprise, it’s “her partner”, we chatted at least for an hour. I know it’s not usual, for someone to chat with their best friend’s boyfriend. I know she trusts me and knowing myself, he is like a brother to me. So we went on , I heard his side of the story , to my surprise , I told her whatever he said one day earlier . It’s like I predicted his thoughts. I was astonished. I explained to him, how she felt and I told him its best if he talks to her. & I made them one promise that I know I’ll never break

“I will make sure ya’ll stay together till the day I die, because what you guys have here is hard to find, I never had a long relationship, I don’t want ya’ll to end. You guys just celebrated 1 year. It’ll be stupid if ya’ll want to end it now over something so silly , remember when you guys decided to get together , you guys took a hidden oath to bear each other , a relationship is never smooth , ya’ll with fight , scream and even get annoyed . The best part is after that, when love takes over anger, hate and lust. So please be patient.”

It made me feel happy because I was actually committing myself to something. A life-time commitment.

That night, my tuition teacher was talking about “love”. What an awkward day. She asked me “So darling, tell me what do you look for in a man”. Awkward thing for a teacher to ask, but, I respected her question. I told her very briefly , I want someone who respects me and himself , knows his boundaries ,definitely a Christian , he’s got to be comfortable around me , he doesn’t have to act all cool and shit , last but not least , he’s got to accept me for who I am . My teacher paused and said “ interesting but where are the details women”.

I can’t believe she just called me women. HaHaHa.

She knew I was a little lost, so she wrote something on a piece of paper, & she wanted me to answer them verbally. It stated “DETAILS MISSY, DEEPER DETAILS”. I’m guessing she wants to hear about my ideal guy. So I told her,

I wouldn’t say looks don’t matter, because that’s total bullshit, they do matter but they aren’t important. Since I’m a six string lover, he must be able to play the guitar. He’s got to be humble, respectful, and loyal. He would be someone who I can talk to comfortably. He would be someone I can trust with all my secrets.He’d be my best friend. He’d be someone, I can be myself with, I can totally be a pig and he wouldn’t mind. That would be amazing. He’d be someone who would stand up for “us” even if people are against us. A huge NO-NO to players. As I said loyal. He’d be there through thick or thin, sickness and in health. To summarize everything, he’s my best friend.

My teacher looked pleased, and she threw another question at me, give me con’s, something that you wouldn’t want.

That was an easy question

“I wouldn’t want him flirting around when he’s with me”

“I wouldn’t want him to propose to me through a text saying “lets couple” that’s a huge turn down , a simple word like “be mine” would sound way civilized “

“I wouldnt want a guy, who would leave me when he sees something better that comes along”

Simple words I want to be his world, and I’ll make him mine.

& my teacher had a point in all this fun activities; I was assigned to a 1000 word essay on my ideal man that day . Teachers , so predictable . Hahaha

Last week, messed a little with my emotions. I’m just looking forward to a better week ahead. I’ll blog about my torturous 12 hour seminar soon.

Starlight

Everyone has a dream . An ambition or at least a picture of what they wanna be . As for me , none . Odd as it sounds , Its true , Until this very day if you ask me what's my ambition , i'll tell you "undecided" . Few days ago my dad sat me down and had a heart-to-heart talk with . He asked me , what's going through your mind now .
Unsure of what he asked , i told him "i dont know" . He told me to update him , with my recent thoughts

Aug 4
Sat down in my room , picked my bible . As I was reading it . Suppressed memories , were reignited . Thats when I realize , I did have a dream , I did have goal . I never had something in specific .

When I was 3 , I dreamt of taking the stage and I did , I stool in front of 300 people and sang amazing grace  I have a cert to prove it .

At the age of 5 , I danced in front of 700 people , in Bkt Jalil .

At the age of 8 , I was in a debate team

Age of 9 , I played the piano for a society .

Age of 11 , performed in school / school choir

Age of 12 , Sang amazing grace in a church . Uncle's funeral . / school choir

Age of 14 , Sang hero in a wedding

Age of 15 , played numb on my guitar in a small society

Looking back  , I realized , I wasn't a great singer nor was I an excellent musician .
But I had the determination . I knew I was gonna have fun no matter what I do . People can laugh , as long as I give my best , I was satisfied .

As I grew up , I forgot that . I started to worry about others , About what people will say if I cant sing or if I play the wrong note .Would people laugh ? What if I look horrible on stage ? Desperate for love , i had to go all girly ,
Worries killed my dreams . It stopped me from so many things

Someone told once told me this

I like the fact that your now able to able to speak up , confident and best of all you dont fit into any clique . Its cause you dont have to , I love you just the way you are . - K.A.

And yes it spoke to me . Knowing I just have to be me . I dont have to walk about with tons of make up and  suck in everything to look good , makes me feel relive .

Another thing appeared as I was soul searching . As a young child I always wanted to be someone famous. I always saw myself as someone people would would love . Now and then i'd pretend Im an interviewer , or doing an add for a channel or even rant like a wrestler . I always saw myself in the spotlight ,
Wedding's were my favorite  place , cause they had a red carpet . and fancy light that make you feel like a star . When I was younger I use to strut on the red carpet . I was a photo-freak , I love taking pictures as a kid . Even the photographer told my mum , that they have a potential model .

After gathering all the memories and fact , I walked up to my dad and told him this is what goes through my mind . All he did was stare at me as if I was crazy . All he said after that was ,

"“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

I may not know where Im heading all I know is Im putting the puzzle pieces together . & we'll see where I end Up .

 “Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Hate Me More

Take Me To Paradise City