Just Dont Make Me Promises .

What are you running from ? they ask , what have you become , have you lost yourself . questions that linger , the uncertainty of life , turns into unresolved questions , where do you turn to for answers ? where do you go ?

Being stuck between your past and the future . what do you do with the present is all in your hands . what you do today , will aid your future . Goals , Dreams and Visions , help you keep your life on track .

Then again , for an ordinary person , it would be so . What if you're somewhat , hmmm , lets put it this way , different ? Out of the ordinary , someone with good intentions that has been misunderstood and judged by society ? Where you've been taken advantage of ? the worst of them all is when you're labelled as the epitome of pain and grieve . Or shall i say your typical outcast ?

Sometimes its good to step out of that pretty little box you've built around your head , and open up to reality . Understanding someone's pain is the first step of being human . Learn that !

The worst part is when you start to question your existence , when you start to wonder , "why am i here" ? "whats my purpose" ? When the hardest part of life , is getting up every morning , what do you do ?

It begins with broken promises , which leads to disappointments , and disappointments takes on a new form , call depression .

And the question still remains , what do i do from here ?

I shall leave with this , food for thought . Stop for a second and think about it .

If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got. Kurt Cobain 

Sinking Memories

Its funny how time flies , one minute you're that boyish chick who walks around with jeans and t-shirts , the next thing you know you're strutting around in skirts and stilettos  . Well its true , people change , I myself changed drastically over the past year . Sometimes i look in the mirror and I see a stranger. I traded my leather jackets and sneakers for bodycon skirts and heels . As the older you get , emotions change , you start to realize , you're no more that 16 year old girl that waiting on a prince to sweep her off her feet . In my case , numb would be a better word to describe it . You also see the people around you change , you start to see different characters , people you've known a lifetime , has taken on a whole new different lifestyle , so much so you barely know them anymore . Some become so materialistic and for lack of a better term "bitchy" , wheres the rest changed for the better . Those kids you use to play around with , are now aspiring to be future doctors and lawyers . 

I guess there comes a point in life where all you got to do is STOP , and embrace the moment . In this busy world , everyone's so career driven , that they forget about the beauty and simplicity of life itself . Life becomes a stressful thing to some , or even worst , a burden . Tell me when was the last time you looked mum/dad/bro/sis in the eye , and told them you love them ? Or even your best friends , when was the last time you put your ego aside and held them close , thanked them for being a part of your life ? thanked them for all those memories ? . Tell me ... . All i see is best friends arguing/competing over something silly , like owning the same type of clothing/gadgets or even worst education . Well isn't wrong to be competitive , just know when to stop . Fashion and Electronics , will eventually fade .


The materialistic and career driven world has taken a toll on everyone , I admit , even me . I get so caught up in wanting to own the latest gadgets/clothes and having good grades , that i forget and hurt the people around me in the process . , but Hey ! its never to late , there's always something call "forgiveness"  :) Its sad how 90% of the world interprets love , as being , between a man and a women . Movies has literally programmed our mind to do so . Tell me , how many movies out there , promote "platonic love" , its always "boy meets girl"  . 


At this very point in life , I crave for change , my heart yearns for fresh new start .
Then again , who am I so demand for such amenity  . 

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. - unknown

So here's what im suggesting " Stop . Forgive . Love "

Something Worth Watching

I came across this video , and it's definitely worth watching , its just 4 minutes .

No boundaries , No Lengths

Have you ever felt lost inside , like you don't belong . They stare at you , gleaming with judgments . You see your life , reflecting in the mirror right before you . what do you do ? What do you do when your just lost for words , when you feel like everything's falling apart . You just don't know where and who to turn to ? A glimpse of serendipity , that's what you were to me . I step out , and embrace the moment , as thee sweet evening breeze kisses my cheeks , and ran through my hair , i get this tingling feeling deep inside me , that i might lose myself to someone who I would never get in a million years . I nearly left the real me of the shelf .

Everything inside me screams no .

Sometimes you just know , you cant be what he wants . Yet you try , hoping , there's a chance . Like some miracle is gonna happen , and voila , he's attracted to you . Please , all those only happens in cheesy romance movies , where the guy goes for the lonely average looking girl . Even in movies , the "average" isn't average , she'll turn out to be some super hot chick in the end . And where does that leave me again ? Ha-ha .

Sometimes figuring out what you want and what you need just isn't as easy as it seems , some people are in love with the idea of being in love , some just want company and the rest , well i don't really know about the rest . Im not the exactly the person you would wanna get advice from , I've never been on a date and I've not been anywhere near a relationship for 1 year 9 months , but i can tell you a little something from my past experience . DON'T HOLD ON , IF HE/SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE HELD ON TO . Believe me when I say so :) . Took me a year to get over everything .

Sometimes , you just got to wait , patiently for the right one to come along , when he/she does you'll know ;)

2012

Let me start off by saying happy new year  . I started off my new , with accounts , yes , finals , oh how we dread that word . As a procrastinator , exams arent actually my "thing" , late night studying , cramming 4 months of syllabus in one night , things i do amazes me sometimes . That was one of the main reasons why I could not blog , as for now , i have all the time I need , i thought , hey why not blog , afterall i dont really have anything planned .

Christmas , went well , as usual , we'd go over to my cousins place for a jamming session , then we'd have a toast to the good times and the bad . Last year I lost two important , wait , scratch that , 3 members from my family . My grandaunt , my favorite uncle and my dog who served us well for 16 years :') This years gathering seemed a little "empty" , you could feel the emptiness . Dont know about them , but i surely felt it . Things like this are inevitable . Had a lonely christmas this year .

Threw a party @ havana club , duta vista

New Years Eve , i had my first paper , accounts , my worst sub :/ , managed to walk out early ( no surprise there ) later , headed out to the city with Kristen , Hannah , Claire , Paul and Mark . Things didn't go as planned ,  we were back by 11 .

First thing i did on Jan 1 2012 , attend church .

Thus my year began