Starlight

Everyone has a dream . An ambition or at least a picture of what they wanna be . As for me , none . Odd as it sounds , Its true , Until this very day if you ask me what's my ambition , i'll tell you "undecided" . Few days ago my dad sat me down and had a heart-to-heart talk with . He asked me , what's going through your mind now .
Unsure of what he asked , i told him "i dont know" . He told me to update him , with my recent thoughts

Aug 4
Sat down in my room , picked my bible . As I was reading it . Suppressed memories , were reignited . Thats when I realize , I did have a dream , I did have goal . I never had something in specific .

When I was 3 , I dreamt of taking the stage and I did , I stool in front of 300 people and sang amazing grace  I have a cert to prove it .

At the age of 5 , I danced in front of 700 people , in Bkt Jalil .

At the age of 8 , I was in a debate team

Age of 9 , I played the piano for a society .

Age of 11 , performed in school / school choir

Age of 12 , Sang amazing grace in a church . Uncle's funeral . / school choir

Age of 14 , Sang hero in a wedding

Age of 15 , played numb on my guitar in a small society

Looking back  , I realized , I wasn't a great singer nor was I an excellent musician .
But I had the determination . I knew I was gonna have fun no matter what I do . People can laugh , as long as I give my best , I was satisfied .

As I grew up , I forgot that . I started to worry about others , About what people will say if I cant sing or if I play the wrong note .Would people laugh ? What if I look horrible on stage ? Desperate for love , i had to go all girly ,
Worries killed my dreams . It stopped me from so many things

Someone told once told me this

I like the fact that your now able to able to speak up , confident and best of all you dont fit into any clique . Its cause you dont have to , I love you just the way you are . - K.A.

And yes it spoke to me . Knowing I just have to be me . I dont have to walk about with tons of make up and  suck in everything to look good , makes me feel relive .

Another thing appeared as I was soul searching . As a young child I always wanted to be someone famous. I always saw myself as someone people would would love . Now and then i'd pretend Im an interviewer , or doing an add for a channel or even rant like a wrestler . I always saw myself in the spotlight ,
Wedding's were my favorite  place , cause they had a red carpet . and fancy light that make you feel like a star . When I was younger I use to strut on the red carpet . I was a photo-freak , I love taking pictures as a kid . Even the photographer told my mum , that they have a potential model .

After gathering all the memories and fact , I walked up to my dad and told him this is what goes through my mind . All he did was stare at me as if I was crazy . All he said after that was ,

"“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

I may not know where Im heading all I know is Im putting the puzzle pieces together . & we'll see where I end Up .

 “Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”